Nicholas Edmond

First name Nicholas - victories people

Middle name Edmond - wealthy defender

In biblical days a child was given a name that was descriptive of them.....

Isaac - he laughs

Leah - weary, I've also heard weak eyed. She was both.

Esau - hairy

Jacob - holder of the heel

I don't know if they named their babies at birth or waited until they were older & certain characteristics or personalities were more apparent or if it a self fulfilling prophesy given at birth. But whatever it was, the names had meaning & the person attached to them usually carried the burden or the blessing of that name.

Today, a name is all about being unique. And you have to wonder what the parent of Apple had planned. The parents of 4Real made it clear why they named their child that because seeing the sonigram for the first time & then holding him made it "4Real". 4really! once they get the approval to name a child with a number that will be his name.

As a new parent you can't help but imagine what your child will be when he/she grows up & uses their name in their adult life. What did the parents of these adults think their baby would grow up to be - George W, Moonbeam, Sharla Kitten, Obama Huissein?

And what did the parent's of Nicholas Edmond think that he would grow up to be?

I've been fascinated with this idea ever since I learned his name. Because, if names can sound a certain way, his sounds strong to me. It sound old school, like it should be on an old fashioned door with a frosted glass window & black letters...

Nicholas Edmond, esq

Nicholas Edmond Atty at Law

Maybe a handsome actor.

A politician.

A plumber.

I am pretty sure that his parents never imagined that he would be what he is.....

homeless

mentally ill from years of sexual abuse & who knows what else

writer of many prayers

soft spoken

lonely

cold

hurting

Since I met him I have had this one thought and that is "this is someone's child - does she know where he is, does she know how desperately he needs to be loved, does she even care".

I care, but I don't know how to help him.

What would you do?

You see them all the time. Standing on corners at intersections, squating on the ground, leaning up against buildings, asking for handouts, holding signs that say need food, will work for food, or more honestly - need a drink.

Sometimes I help, sometimes I don't. Not sure what the criteria is that helps me determine who to help & who to pass by. But after a quick assesment, which usually involves a tugging in my heart, I will either help or pass on by.

A couple of Saturday's ago was no different.

I went to McDonald's to pick up something for David & his Dad. It was supposed to be a quick trip there & back. But traffic was heavy & the drive thru really busy. As I waited my turn in line there was a young man, dirty and tired looking, leaning up against the wall. He wore a cap, sandles and had a blanket tied around his shoulders. His sleeping bag was rolled up neatly next to him and all his belongings were in a bag that was tucked protectively under his arm. In his hands he was holding a piece of card board that simply said "need food".

I took all of this in, while trying desperately NOT to make eye contact. That's always the worst thing about these situations. Don't make eye contact until you have made up your mind what you are going to do.

I searched in my purse and the most I could come up with was a couple of quarters, a dime and a few pennies. It wouldn't buy him a cup of cofee at Quick Trip much less a hamburger. Thankfully the cars in front of me began to move and he was soon out of my sight. But not out of my thoughts. Oh how I hate that. What to do, what to do.

I decided the most logical thing was to buy him something to eat. So I circled back around and pulled over & asked if he wanted something to eat. He said he had just had something so I gave him the change and I really meant to drive off. But he looked so pitiful and so cold sitting there with that vacant look that I just wanted to do so much more for him but at the same time knowing full well that there really was very little that I could do for him. So I asked him if he needed anything else. He thought for a minute than said "you know it is really cold and what I could use is some warm pants". "OK, I can do that!! I'll just run home & drop these McChickens off & I'll get you some warm pants & be right back." But then he surprised me and asked if he could go along. We'll OK I said.

It became apparent after talking to him for a few minutes that he was probably mentally ill. Don't know if he had always been that way or if drugs had created it. But it didn't matter. He was from Nevada, but hadn't lived there in a long time. He needed a job but didn't have an ID.

I took him to look at clothes but he didn't find anything that would work for him. When we dropped him off I tried to talk him into going to a shelter but he said those don't really work for him. We gave him some money and I gave him my phone number & left him at the McDonalds

The next Friday evening the phone rings and it's him. He says he's lost his sleeping bag and it's cold could we maybe help him a little. We remember David has an old coat in the closet so we grab that on our way out to Walmart to buy a sleeping bag.

We meet him at the designated spot & he is cleaned up from the first time I met him. He is now wearing blue sweat pants that are several sizes too small. He seems appreciative. We try again to get him to go to a shelter but he can't bear to do that.

There is so little that you can do for someone like him. Trying to help with his most basic needs just doesn't seem to be enough. But that is because I'm imposing my basic needs on to him. In my world, basic needs include the security of knowing that what I have today will be there tomorrow. In his world, basic needs are whatever he needs at that moment - a sleeping bag, a warm coat. The security of knowing that he will have those things when he wakes up is as foreign to him as living on the streets is to me.

I wish I could do more.

I'll do anything to win something

I came across this site Musings of a Housewife while I was stalking this blog A Mom's Life

This blog A Mom's Life referred to this The Housewife's Holiday Gift Guide.

If I mention The Housewife's Holiday Gift Guide on my blog I could win some really cool prizes.

The Housewife has done a really neat job of creating the Gift Guide. It's not your usual Toys R Us and Target type gifts. She has some really cute and unique items.

So you just need to check it out here.

I've been really bugged about something since the elections have been over.......

Why is it that so many Christians were willing to give their vote to Obama?

They had to know that he doesn't uphold the same values, that they do.

They had to know that his thoughts on America were different than theirs.

Aren't they afraid that when the dust settles & his "share the wealth" comes to fruition it will probably mean that they are wealthy?

Don't they realize that when this courting period is over, what this man is really made of will reveal itself. And it may not be the handsome debonair man who has touted "It's about time, It's about Change."

Then this thought struck me. It's way out there but stick with me..............

It's just like Christians dating non-Christians. We always think it's OK.

The good in me will over come this one little flaw.

I'll be able to win him/her over.

It's not as bad as it seems at first.

After you talk to them and really get to know them you'll understand that they are more like you.

or maybe it's just........

that he/she is just so darn cute, sexy, wealthy, powerful. You fill in the blank.

Bottom line is........

we have formed an alliance that may or may not be for the good of the country. And closer to home - for the good of each one of us.

But not to leave on a discouraging note.

Since I hold fast to scripture and trust in the Word of God I have to believe that Romans 13 1-7 trumps any mistake that I feel has been made by the people of this great nation. And as much as it pains me to say it - "God is in control and I will submit to any authority that has been established by HIM.

So let's just hope that........

The good in us will over come this one little flaw

We'll be able to win him over.

It's not as bad as it seems.

After we really get to know him we'll understand that he is more like us than we originally thought.

And if all else fails - It's not like it has to last an eternity.

Evil Children & the Games they Play

Monday Emily came home from school and asked me "Mom what's a boiler room?" Strange question for a 4th grader. Although I know in theory what a boiler room is I couldn't explain it. Not to worry, she'll look it up on the internet. And I forgot all about it.

That evening we put Em to bed as usual but she woke up with a tummy ache so she crawled in bed with us & later she & I went to her bed. Apparently, maximum capacity for our bed is 3 people & 2 dogs. I thought she was awfully cuddly but just enjoyed it & forgot all about it.

Tuesday I picked her up from school & she plops in the car and says "Mom, guess what I did at recess today?" What I ask, expecting the same ol' response. But instead she said "I looked for Freddy". OH really, who is Freddy & did you find him? Her response.....

"No, he's dead"

OK, you've got my attention. So I asked her to explain.

Seems she has been playing with a new set of friends at recess. (Oh yeah, I remember she had told me their names last week but I forgot all about it)

Seems they have come up with this tale of Freddy who was murdered, awoke from his grave and began killing little children.

Seems my daughter, bless her little soul. Believes that Freddy is real & is stalking the children on the Key Elementary play ground and apparently knows where we live.

I tried to explain that it is just a story that the kids were making up to scare other kids.

Why would they do that? Because some kids think that it is fun to be scared.

"Well it's not. And besides I know it's true. London went to the boiler room with Mr. Travis" (the janitor). And how that proves that there is a child named Freddy killing kids is beyond me. But in her 10 year old mind it made perfect sense.

Then she pulled out her finale, most important, piece of fact that PROVED Freddy was real.



A folded piece of paper where she had pain stackingly copied word for word the note that her friend had shown her. (double click to see it clearly)

My favorite is Freddy's weaknesses -

Silver - will freeze him

Fire - will bring him to a fire place.

Then to add a convincing twist (and obviously a sign of the times) they listed a website: www:freddy'slife.com

I pounced on that one. Let's look up the website. And of course there was no such website.

But that sparked a whole new batch of, "But I know it's true because they also said there is a Bloody Mary. Oh yeah, I remember now. She mentioned a week or so ago that she knew what a bloody mary was. (How long has this been going on?)

Then I got the brillant idea to look up Freddy on Snopes.com. After all they couldn't be the first school age kids to come up with him.

There wasn't anything about Freddy but Bloody Mary was indeed on Snopes. My plan almost back fired though. Cause the minute she saw something come up about Bloody Mary her eyes got wide and she said "See I told you it was real".

I spent some time explaining what a legend was & how people just keep telling the story over & over as if it were true.

I'm not sure she totally believes me. I explained to her that we don't believe that people wake up from the grave because we know that Jesus did and once we die we go to live with him & who would want to come back from that.

Then we spent her bed time reading scripture & talking about how this is a perfect example of why the bible says we should think about things that are good & pure & not about things that are evil. And about how God will deliever us from the grasp of evil & cruel men.

I'd like to say that it worked wonders and maybe it did. But sleeping with Momma & Daddy, at least for as long as Dad could stand it, worked the best.

Now where are those evil children.......................

Sweet Birthday Wishes

Two of the sweetest things happened this weekend because it was Emily's birthday.

The first, my friend Mary from My Friend and the things she has taught me insited that I buy Emily a musical Hallmark card for her birthday. Now don't fall over dead when I say this, but I generally consider cards to be a waste of money if they cost over 98 cents. But it was her money not mine. And she just knew that Emily would LOVE it. Then she asked me to put $5.00 in the card. Now that, in and of it's self isn't extravagent. But when you consider that this lady, after all bills are paid receives $50.00 for the ENTIRE month it seems a little extravagant. Again her money not mine. So I did it. She was right Emily loved it.

We have these kids that we have been bringing to church for several years now. Their home life has been rough, Mom in jail etc etc etc. Then DHS took them from Grandma & placed them with an Aunt. She is now raising her 3 neices & 1 nephew along with her 3 kids. We've known them pre Aunt & now with Aunt. They have done amazingly well, not perfect but soooo much better. But this past weekend they reached out past themselves, which is HUGH for kids that are constantly fighting for their place in life. They set up a lemonade stand & used the proceeds to buy Emily a birthday card & candy. Then when Emily received more gifts from friends at church the youngest one cried because she didn't get anything for her birthday.

So often we help & help & help and when we don't see the results that WE think we should see, we think that their are no results.

BLESSINGS

The LORD blessed the latter part of Job's life more than the first. (Job 42:12a)

I came across this scripture this week and decided that it was meant for me too. After Job went through his trials & had lost everything God blessed him with exactly twice as much as he had before!

When I read this scripture it was as if a light went off. Society would have us think that after a certain age our lives are winding down or becoming less important. But God cared enough about Job to bless him more in the latter part of his life! He had experienced illness, death of family members, criticism of his wife and ridicule by friends. He continued to love God. And God blest the latter part of his life MORE than the first.

I spend way to much time focusing on my faults or the way I think that I have failed God or my husband or my children. And way too little time on how blessed I am or how much God loves me. So I got to pondering my blessings......

I have 3 amazing daughters. All of them beautiful inside & out. Two of them are the most amazing wife's to two incredible young men. They are both great moms to two of the sweetest little babies. One is stepmom to two precious little girls. Being mommy comes so natural to them. They are two of the most loving, kind and nurturing moms I have ever known. The third daughter is bright and beautiful, kind and caring. She is overcoming obstacles & unfairness in life with incredible grace and fortitude. She is an amazing work of God and I am blest to be called her mom.

And then I have David. He is the kindest most compassionate, most tender hearted man I have ever known. He thinks that his tender heart is a weakness. But I think it is his greatest strength. He loves his God, his church, his children, his friends. And he loves me! I love to watch him watching Emily. You can see the love he has for her. I love to watch him at church. His love for God when he praises Him is written all over his face. And when he looks at me, his love for me is there too. He is a man after Gods own heart. And I am so blessed to be his wife.

And that's just a very small bit of the blessings I have. And all of these things God has blessed me with, in the latter part of my life. Don't get me wrong, He blessed the first half but I have sooooo much more now. And I know that it is only getting better.

So THANK YOU God for loving me & blessing me in the latter part of my life - even though I'm not nearly finished with the latter part of my life.

And Happy Anniversary David & thank you for being part of my life and thank you for today. Even though it wasn't the day you had planned for us it was a great day. I love you.

Happy Birthday Sweetheart

I'm writing this in honor of David's birthday which is Monday. So Happy Birthday to you!!

Emily LOVES Birthdays and Christmas and Easter and anything that you get to buy a gift for. But she is lousy at keeping a secret. So most of the time I will buy the gift and not tell her what it is until the very LAST minute. David hasn't quite learned that trick yet so consequently I usually know what I'm getting before I get it. But pleeeeeassse don't tell her I told because she is absolutely MORTIFIED when she realizes what she has done. But you just can't take back words.

So this year we hatched a plan to give David tickets to take her to an OSU football game. Perfect gift!! She couldn't wait to tell him. So first thing this morning she hit me with "can I give Dad his present". Every protest I had, she had a rebuttal. The best & the one that made me surrender was "I have to tell him this morning because I won't see him tonight & he won't know to come & pick me up in the morning". She had a point, since she was spending the night at Grandpa's & Grandma"s. So she gave him his present this morning. No wrapping, no card. Just two printed tickets handed to Dad by the cutest, most proudest little girl with the biggest, sweetest grin plastered across the most precious face anyone could ever imagine. Now that's what I call a PERFECT gift!!

David, I hope you have a great day. Know that you are loved, today and always.

I DID IT

We'll I did it. I took the cookies across the street. I stayed home today & for the last several hours have watched the comings & goings of the neighbors. I decided that NOW was just as good as any and probably better than waiting, since the cookies are only getting older. So I went over with my cookies.
I have to tell you though, there was no bolt of lightening, no TA DUM, no dove descending saying "well done my good & faithful servant". However, there very well may have been a "what was that about" being murmured from the truck that I just about threw the cookies into. I don't know why I decided meeting them in the driveway was better than knocking on the door. Maybe it seemed less intrusive, maybe it seemed more casual...just happened to be passing by kindof thing. Maybe I'm just a chicken.
I also forgot to ask how they were doing, if they needed anything. Nothing but.....I wanted to bring you some cookies.
I wanted so much more for them, so much more from me.
Did I fail? I don't think so. I did what I set out to do - to offer love & friendship to my neighbor.

I've been challanged

I've been challenged in the worst kind of way. The kind where God says "Ok put your faith where your feet are and move it" The kind where I know if anything happens it WILL NOT be by my power but by HOLY SPIRIT power, because there is no way on this earth that I am capable of doing what I am being called to do.


The Calling: To visit our neighbors, 2 gay men, 1 ill and possibly dying. There has been activity over there that suggests there is full time help, maybe hospice. It is not a calling to lecture, preach or judge. Just to love.


The Crying: What if I just have an over active imagination and they have a relative living with them. What if I'm a busy body neighbor that has stuck her nose through the blinds one too many times. What if they don't like my offering? What if they reject me? What if I CAN'T do this. But what if they, like the rest of us, just need to know that they are loved. Maybe one more person needs to give them hope that Jesus came for them just like he came for the prostitutes, thief's, murderers, adulteresses and ME.


THE CAPABLE: It has not been lost on me that this is just a continuation of the lesson I began in Empowering the Ordinary. That our work is only accomplished by relying completely & totally on the Holy Spirit. Do you think that Jesus was afraid that the Rich Young Ruler would reject him, was he embarrassed to confront the Women at the Well? Maybe, maybe not. I do know this, if I don't step out in faith, God will never have the opportunity to show me that HE and HE alone is capable of doing great and wonderful things.

Our cookies are baked (thanks David). Our shoes are on. Now if we can just get our legs to move!

Emily

Emily has been having a hard time lately. She really really misses her birth Mom & Dad and her brothers. She is trying to somehow come to grips with the reality that she isn't with them. In her innocence she knows that they should be together but doesn't really understand why they aren't. How does a 9 year old reconcile that? How does she accept who she is, without being part of what she was born into? What does she do with the guilt she feels because she loves another set of parents yet still loves the first set? What does she do with the hole left in her heart because she is a sibling of 3, yet an only child.

These are heart wretching questions that have no answers. As her mom & dad all we know to do is cry with her and pray and pray and pray....................... He will fill the void in ways that we can't ask or imagine. He will make her new.

I've been doing it all wrong

All these years I've been looking to Jesus as my example. I've tried to be like him, I've prayed to be like him, I've practiced being like him and every day I've failed to be like him. I can get close, some days I think I do a pretty good job. But most days I just don't measure up. I'm never patient enough or kind enough or good enough or loving enough.

I'm in a bible study with a group of ladies. We are studing a book called Empowering the Ordinary. I am amazed to learn that all the miracles Jesus performed, all the love that he showered on people, all the wisdom he bestowed on ordinary men, all the suffering he endured on the cross is not the example that we should follow. The example is that he totally & completely relied on the Holy Spirit & His Father for guidence. He could only do what His Father does. (Jn 5:19). His joy came through the Holy Spirit (Luke 10:21). He was full of the Holy Spirit (Luke 4:1) His Father was the one that glorified him. (Jn 8:54) He learned everything from His father (Jn 15:15)

So like Him, we are to be filled with the Holy Spirit (Ep 5:18). Our joy comes from the Spirit (1 Thes. 1:6), our peace comes from the Spirit (John 14:26). Our comfort comes from the Spirit(Acts 9:13). Our Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, self control, gentleness, faithfulness, they all come from the Spirit. I've always known that. But somewhere along the way I just got it all wrong and have tried too hard and too long to be a perfect version of myself, meeting all the requirements, crossing all the T's and dotting all the I's of righteous Christianity. Never realizing that Jesus came to earth to be just like me so that I could see the work of the Holy Spirit in an ordinary man. So our example isn't to be like a perfect man but to be like an ordinary man empowered by the perfect Holy Spirit.

God expects me to be full of Him just as Jesus was. How freeing is that. I don't have to be perfect, or loving or joyful. I just have to be full of the Spirit and all these things will be mine.

My Friend & some things she has taught me

I took a friend to visit her father the other day. At first glance you would think that we are an unlikely pair to be friends. But I geniunely like her and I think she likes me.

Our relationship began because I thought I had something to offer her. But mostly I don't, except a ride now and then and a good ear. But she is teaching me a lot about life.

Like,
there really are mothers who sell their little girls to men so they can buy some drugs. and then, when the children are taken away or she's put in jail the mother blames the little girl. And the little girl believes her.

brothers can hate so much that they can violate others in ways that we don't even want to think about.

sisters can hate even more, just by refusing to acknowledge that you even exist.

you can hate yourself so much that you don't care if you live or die. it doesn't matter if you live in filth or sleep under a bridge. it doesn't matter if you steal from your father or even yourself. what matters is finding the next high.

I've learned that people like that, sell food that has been given to them, probably 5 minutes after they walked out your door. they take things from the donation bin down the street and sell it. they sell their clothes, their shoes, their dogs, their bodies.

I've also learned that if someone is your friend they will protect you, help you and even loan you a $20.00 when it's really all they've got. some friends will even stop selling you drugs because they know that the next one will kill you. well, actually they just don't want to be the one to kill you but they like you enough to tell you.

And I've learned that there is a forgiveness that goes beyond anything I've ever experienced. I haven't experienced it because I haven't been willing to forgive so deeply. it starts with yourself. You forgive yourself for all the wrongs you've commited against yourself. You forgive all the people that have hurt you - but you don't forget. and then you thank Jesus for every good thing he has given you. even when, by the worlds standards, its really doesn't amount to anything.

I've learned that I can trust her to get me around town & even out of town. she says when you're desperate for drugs you have to know your way around the city.

I've learned that a father can love a child unconditionally but sometimes the hurt and pain is so deep and so old that you just can't go back to the way things used to be.

I've learned that a paranoid schiziphrenic (mild of course) can trust some people and I never want to let her down.

I have to wonder though, what does it say about you when a "crazy person" says "You are making me crazy"

One year anniversary

Hey look, I've been blogging for more than a year!!!!! And I didn't think I could do it.